contains spoilers

Jinx:
I am evil and bad. Actually now I have a child and I have maternal instincts, prolly cuz I’m a woman. Also there’s going to be an AU where my friend and I are in love but it’s kind of true irl too. Prolly also cuz I’m a girl. Also I’m suicidal. And then I actually do kill myself. To a suicide banger. But it’s not a problematic message at all because it’s for good cause!

Caitlyn:
I never said this before but I actually love my mom so much. I’m going to do evil shit bc of that. But actually Vi is right and I’m going to betray Ambessa. Why? No reason. Also, a bullet to the head will be deflected because plot armor. Everyone stands and claps.

Viktor:
As the Eastern European character, I’m going to turn into a classic movie villain and try to take over the world to enforce my vaguely Communist ideology. And I’m all-knowing so I actually know that it’s going to go to shit. Because I’ve tried over and over again. But now that my Democratic gay lover has joined me in space, I actually think I’m done and we’re going to drift off together wheeeee

Jayce: shoots Viktor
Viktor: survives

Jayce:
???I thought??? I wanted to bring magic to the world??? But actually I just wanted to see my best friend??? And those thoughts are connected

Ekko, as he and Powder are about to kiss: Hold up. Can we just pretend like it’s the first time? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Ekko: makes a mini time machine (for fun apparently cuz he's just messing around w “regressions”)
A dog: upgrades it into a portal to other dimensions (but still a time machine just for Ekko)
Ekko: definitely don’t go past 4 seconds or dogs will explode
Ekko: goes past 4 seconds to throw a time machine at Viktor. No consequences

Doctor:
I want to stop death and bring my dead daughter back to life. The pipeline from vivisection to blood-thirsty, killing machine Warwick is a crucial step in that process, obviously. How does Warwick work? Well, he’s drawn to the sent of blood. Whose blood? Somewhat arbitrary because sometimes it’s mine when it’s convenient but sometimes it’s not. What would happen if some random girl was on her period? Idk gg I guess

Ambessa:
A long time ago I fucked around and gave birth to Huge Secret! Mel! Also I stole (?) something (?) from ~the Black Rose~ (?) and um my son had to pay the price for that. Because I wasn’t willing to…give it back? Because I’m prideful? Also I need weapons. And I need to take over Piltover. No reason.

Mel:
My mom and I have beef bc I think she’s never respected me but actually she was mean to me to protect me (?) because! I have powers now! Involving…mirrors…shields…gold…???? Anyway it’s how Jace and I survived the attack on the council room <3 I love Jace so much because our heterosexual relationship is vital to the overarching plot AND he told me I’m never the passenger (????) BTW, my mommy issues resolve because my mom tells me I was the wolf all along, which pretty much explains everything I need to know about our past

Silco:
Bedrock and blisters🤘 (???whatever that means??) I cain’t believe that if only I got one (1) letter from Vander, I might not have become the head of a criminal organization and primary enemy of season 1.

Sky:
Yea I’m here again I’m not really sure why either

Vi:
No comment because my character did not evolve in any way across two seasons.